


This Is The Day

by ready_to_kick_some_ass



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:39:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_to_kick_some_ass/pseuds/ready_to_kick_some_ass
Summary: Today is the day. He has to do it. Even if he knows exactly that Chloe will leave him then ...





	This Is The Day

Today is the day.  
  
Today is the day and he is prepared.  
That is what he thinks at least.  
  
He walks up and down the hospital hall, while Chloe is with Linda.  
  
The images in his head are clear.  
The scenarios he has imagined all day are flowing into each other. Loose fragments form an ominous unity.  
  
He restlessly strokes over his face and frowns, when his hand comes back damp. Sweat. He is sweating.  
  
_Anxiety.  
  
You're afraid._  
  
A voice somewhere in his head. Almost mocking.  
  
Yes. He is afraid.  
  
There was a time when he thought that was impossible. Ridiculous. But not now. So much more he thought could never be possible, actually is. He knows so much more now.  
  
And he can’t even say whether this is good or bad ...  
  
It seems like eternity until Chloe finally steps out of the room.  
She closes the door behind her, turns around, and a surprised expression spreads over her face.  
"Lucifer. When ... how long have you been here?"  
  
He swallows. "For a while ... I wanted to talk to you."

She smiles slightly. "Yes. I know. I've listened to your ... really mysterious message. So, you want to tell me everything, yeah? Who you really are?"  
  
He nods. "I have realized that I must finally be honest with you. No more secrets. I want ... I want you to trust me. "  
  
Chloe pushes a strand of hair from her face and her smile widens. It becomes something gentle. Something warm.  
  
He feels something aching in him, as he looks into her face.  
  
_Oh Chloe ...  
  
If you only knew that you’re a true miracle._  
  
"Do we want to go to the cafeteria?" She asks.  
  
"No," he says quickly. "Let's go somewhere else ... we have to go somewhere nobody is. We're going to the beach."  
  
"Oh. All right. I've forgotten that you're a romantic,“ she says. It sounds teasing. But he doesn’t manage more than an oblique smile as an answer today.  
  
Today is the day …  
  
*

They walk along the beach.  
  
It is still warm.  
  
The moon is full. It chases the darkness of the night away a bit.  
  
The waves calmly hit the shore. The sea is still today.  
  
They do not say much.  
  
Lucifer is lost in his thoughts.  
Maybe Chloe can sense his restlessness. He does not know.  
  
After some time, he stops.  
  
_I have to do it now._  
  
_Otherwise ... I will never manage to do it._  
  
She looks at him questioningly, with a smile on her face.  
_This smile will pass away when she sees it ..._  
  
_Everything will pass away.  
  
Everything._  
  
He swallows hard.  
In him is a sudden emptiness. He feels as if he is falling.  
  
He knows that this is panic.  
Bottomless panic. This is the expression the humans are using for it.  
  
He feels that now.  
Bottomless. Truly bottomless.  
  
"Lucifer?" Chloe. Her voice sounds slightly worried. "Is everything alright?”

"Yes, I ..." He swallows. "I must ... you wanted to know who I really am. I told you. But I know ... it's hard to believe. Difficult to understand. So, actually you never really knew. Today ... I’ll show you. Because you deserve to know the truth."  
  
She nods slightly. Her look becomes confused. "Okay."  
  
He closes his eyes. Opens them again. His hands clench into fists.  
He draws in a deep breath.  
And then he says softly, "Please Chloe ... please forgive me. I should have made it clear to you from the beginning. It was unfair ... it was not fair to keep the truth away from you for so long. I was selfish. I'm selfish. But must finally ... I want you to know what you're dealing with here. But please," his voice starts to tremble slightly. He can hear it. "You should know that I won’t ... I won’t hurt you. I am not a danger to you. Believe me, please."  
  
She looks at him with wide open eyes. She seems speechless.  
_Please ... Please don’t hate me ..._  
  
_I'm so sorry._  
  
He looks into her beautiful eyes one last time.  
Then he takes a deep breath.  
  
And he ... shows her his true face.  
  
Red, burnt skin ... Glowing eyes ... A being that you cannot look at, without feeling pure horror.  
  
_She'll fear you ... Will hate you ... Will leave you._  
  
He immediately closes his eyes. Cannot stand to see what is coming now.  
  
He hears Chloe inhaling the air sharply.  
  
He swallows.  
Drops his head.  
And waits.

Waits for the shrill shriek of horror that will haunt him to eternity.  
It has already reverberated in his head for days, weeks, months. Unheard. But way too clear. A living nightmare, thanks to his imagination.  
  
He is waiting.  
  
But there is no scream.  
  
He only hears her breath.  
Fast. Sometimes faltering.  
  
But no scream.  
  
Well. Then it is the other form of human anxiety.  
No naked panic.  
But shocked silence. As with Linda.  
  
_Then I'll see her shocked eyes. I will see the fear and disbelief in them. And I'll see how she leaves me ....  
_  
_Hell on earth.  
_  
_I build my own hell on earth.  
  
Oh the irony ..._  
  
He hears how Chloe exhales trembling.  
  
And then he hears her voice.  
"Oh," she says softly. "Oh, I ... I ..."  
  
It hurts to hear her stammering.  
  
"You ... you are ..."  
  
_Say it.  
  
Freak.  
  
Monster.  
  
SAY IT._

He involuntarily lowers his head even deeper.  
Almost humble.  
  
Humbly before her. At her mercy.  
  
And she breathes.  
Once.  
Twice.  
Three times.

  
_Monster._  
  
She breathes.  
  
He is trembling.  
  
And then there is a touch.  
Gentle. Careful.  
  
A hand on his cheek. Warm. Soft ... Affectionate?  
  
He breathes the air in sharply.  
  
The hand twitches back slightly. But then it is back on his skin.  
"Lucifer," Chloe says softly. "Lucifer."  
  
He is breathless.  
He involuntarily leans into the touch.  
  
Makes a sound that he himself cannot interpret.  
The hand remains there.

It is not an illusion.  
  
She is there. Chloe is here. And she whispers, "You told me. I ... I didn’t ... I thought it was impossible, thought it was ... I'm not dreaming, right? This is ... real. Everything is real."  
  
He cannot but laugh bitterly.  
He lifts his head, and finally, finally, opens his eyes.  
  
There she is. In front of him. Near. So near.  
She looks at him. Looks into his glowing eyes and ... there is no bottomless panic in her eyes.  
  
Just ... astonishment. Amazement mixed with something like sadness and - pity.  
  
_Chloe._  
  
"No. No, it isn’t a dream," he says softly.  
"I'm sorry," he adds after a moment of hesitation.  
  
_I'm sorry that I can never be what you might have hoped for ..._  
  
She shakes her head. "No ... you don’t have to be ... it's my fault. If I had believed you. The whole thing would have gone differently ... what you did. What I've seen. I was blind." She rubs her face with her free hand. Fidgety. She frowns. Suddenly, she shivers slightly. "I ... that's all just ... it's a little too ... I mean ..." She can’t finish her thought. Just looks at him. With wide-open shining eyes. Tears gather in them.  
  
Lucifer swallows. "If you ... you can go," he says softly. "I get it. We can finish this. You won’t see me again. I promise it."  
  
The words hurt deeply in him.  
  
It should not hurt so much.  
  
It should not burden him.  
  
But it does.  
It hurts.

She looks at him. Her eyes wander over his face. Her hand is still on his cheek.  
  
_Why?_  
  
He does not know.  
Why would she want to touch him?  
  
Suddenly she speaks again. And her voice trembles. "No. No, I won’t ... I won’t go. Why should I go.” Her fingertips stroke easily over his cheek. He shudders. She swallows.  
"Does that hurt?" She asks. Softly.  
  
"Sometimes," he replies. "Most of the time, it only throbs.”  
  
"Ah." She slowly takes her hand away. Pulls a few strands of hair out of her face.  
  
Immediately he begins to miss her touch.  
  
In the old days he would have found all of this ridiculous.  
Would have laughed at himself.  
  
But now ... It is all different. _He_ is different.  
  
After this thought, he lets his true face disappear.  
  
As he changes, Chloe's eyes open even further and her breath gets slightly faster.  
But she still stands in front of him. Looks at him.  
  
She is not gone.  
  
She is not in shock or completely frightened.  
  
She just stands there and looks at him.  
  
"How," he says, bewildered. "How is this ... how can you ... you've seen it. You saw what I am. Everyone ... Everyone runs away. Everyone is scared ... "  
  
"I'm not everyone," Chloe says softly. "And maybe ... maybe I've always known it somehow. Somehow ... I didn’t want to believe it. But somehow there was always such a feeling."  
  
"But why do you want to have me in your life, anyway,” Lucifer says, shaking his head helplessly. "I am ... I am what people call a monster. I'm doomed to be evil. Why aren’t you scared ... "  
  
"You are you," Chloe says, putting her hand back on his cheek. "You're Lucifer. You are ... you have protected me and my family. You are part of my life. You're a part of _me_."  
  
He can only look at her speechless.  
  
Chloe ... His personal miracle?  
  
For sure. His father put her on his way of life. And yet ... this, the thing in her eyes, is real. He can feel it. It is incredible.  
  
"Chloe," he says softly.  
  
She smiles. And then she hugs him.  
  
He lets it happen. Sinks against her. Puts his head on her shoulder and closes his eyes.  
  
Around them the sea rushes.  
  
It is different.  
  
But it is also as usual.  
  
That was the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: [thespiritualmultinerd](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thespiritualmultinerd/pseuds/thespiritualmultinerd)


End file.
